I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
barbara walters just said penis...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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