If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize