evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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