I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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