His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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