i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
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Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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