Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
pray to the hookup gods
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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