We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize