with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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