yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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