It's Friday. Sex?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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