sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
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we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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