Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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