i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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