My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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