i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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