Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize