I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize