good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
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