Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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