I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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