super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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