his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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