the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize