Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize