We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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