Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize