It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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