I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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