Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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