nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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