My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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