The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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