sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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