its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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