things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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