no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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