i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize