i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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