I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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