Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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