btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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