i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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