i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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