She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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