Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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