His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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