Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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