you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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