Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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